Saturday, February 4, 2012

my 'why', my 'where' and my 'what'...

I'm sitting here tonight on the sofa (bundled in snuggly blankets, mismatched socks & drinking tea), piles of journals, sketchbooks, favorite magazines all around me like like paper guardians.
the house is so quiet.
And i'm trying to relax....but as usual my head is spinny!

I read an old article in 'Artful Blogging' magazine that made me start questioning myself. My voice. I've never been a good writer ( and here I am ready to start assembling and organizing a book that will hopefully be self-published & distributed sooner than I care to believe!), which is why i stick to only writing for myself in my journals and leave the rest to my paintbrushes and 2B drawing pencils. I write like I on sentences, tangents, sometimes making no sense. And to be honest I am nervous about putting those words out there. Like I used to get nervous about hanging a show, or sitting at a critique in art school with my work/soul bared for everyone in class to see.

Why would anyone be interested in what I have to say, or get anything out of my experiences...both faulty and triumphant?

And then I think about the people who have inspired me, Family, friends, artists, crafters, bloggers, musician, writers, scientists....I wonder how many of them felt the way I do right now?

SARK and Sabrina Ward of my favorite artists/writers. They write about their doubts and wobbles. And I love that. It makes them human, and real!

I've talked thru e-mails and facebook and blogs to so many artists...some I have even had the pleasure of meeting... about their inspiration and their goals and how they got where they were.

So what is my 'where?'...
my 'why?'...
my 'what?'...

That is what I'm starting to wonder. I want to plow through, pry open the bones....scoop out all the goop and learn about it!

So thats what I'm about to do for the next few hours.

Oh, I don't expect to get a real hold on anything in those hours....but I'll let you know how it goes...


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